GeekSteep#5: Starbucks Whole-leaf Tea Rundown

The following is a public service announcement for all honest-to-goodness tea fans.  I commit to tell the leaf, the loose leaf and nothing but the leaf…so help me tea.

L2R: Berry Chai, London Fog Latte

Starbucks is good for very few things these days.  In fact, I usually only stop there to use their bathrooms when on the road, so when they announced their new line of whole-leaf teas, I was skeptical at best.  Starbucks isn’t the type of “classy” joint that  uses a powder base and water for their Chai, but they wouldn’t know what a good cup of tea was if it pissed on their floor!

…But I Digress.

The new teas are as follows (Stolen from their site):

• Vanilla Rooibos Tazo® Tea Latte A caffeine-free South African botantical carefully blended with vanilla and spices.
• London Fog Tazo® Tea Latte Delicate, floral earl grey tea with Italian bergamot, vanilla and lavender.
• Black Tazo® Tea Latte With a bold, invigorating aroma, black tea has hints of dark caramel, malt and black cherries.
• Berry Chai Tazo Tea Infusion A handcrafted blend of berry juices, Tazo® tea and exotic spices.
• Apple Chai Tazo® Tea Infusion Crisp apples meet black tea and exotic spices.

Cup I: Vanilla Rooibos Latte.

(2.5 heads)

My knowledge of rooibos tea came about the same time as the new lineup of teas, so I was anxious to check it out.  Enter Venti (is there any other size??).  The first thing I noticed was the teabag.  As is Starbucks fasion, the teabag was left in.  That would normally piss me off because with any other tea it leads to oversteeping and “Puckerface,” but much like with some herbals, rooibos can be steeped for hours and not get bitter.  Yay for that.

The taste was somewhat familiar due to the frothed 2% milk that gets added to all Starbucks latte’s, but was ruined by a 3rd-party sweetening agent.  Don’t get me wrong, rooibos is known for it’s natural sweet finish, but this cup left me wondering when and how I snuck the corn-syrup into my drink without me knowing.  As it turns out, that sneaky barista added a squirt or two of “Unflavored Syrup” to my drink…what a shame, as sans squirt would have been preferred.

I’d really like to give this a higher rating because the Tazo whole-leaf teabag they used was quite good (as are most Tazo products), but alas…I am not rating Tazo.

Cup II: London Fog Latte.
(4 heads)

I don’t know about you, but when I think “London Fog Latte,” I naturally associate that with English Breakfast (London is in England & Fog is normally a breakfast-time event).  I have to say I’m impressed though.  Contrary to what I was expecting, this nommy beverage is made with Tazo’s whole-leaf Earl Grey teabag.  With its’ inviting citrus aroma stemming from the use of bergamont oil, this drink was quite the welcomed one.  I’m sure Starbucks appreciated the deed to the farm I had to give up for it too!  I took the teabag out after 5 minutes to avoid tannin overkill, which as it turned out was near perfect timing, as I was able to taste the natural kick of the tea without suffering a case of the “Puckerface Overlords .”

It seems that America insists on syrup squirts in their beverages…at least that’s what Starbucks thinks, because in went a squirt or two of vanilla-flavored syrup this time.  Fortunately for me, the Earl Grey overpowered most of the other flavors involved.  If/when you decide to get one, might I suggest telling them to “Step awaaay from the syrup?”

Cup III: Black Tea Latte.

(3.5 heads)

The people manufacturing that damn syrup must be laughing maniacally while their cash-counters flip stacks in the background.  That whore of a barista made sure that some unwanted “Unflavored Syrup” made its’ way in my drink again!  Someone MUST inform her that if we wanted sweeteners, we’d add them ourselves.

This latte put to use some good traditional “Awake” whole-leaf black tea from Tazo, which I quickly removed (it was hot & I didn’t wanna burn my fingers) after about 5 minutes.    Although a bit too milky, the taste was full-bodied and smelled as wonderful as black tea can.  Like the London Fog, the tea itself overpowered much of the syrup…thank god for that.

In all, it was quite good, but unless you like plain black tea, I would go with something a tad more flavorful.

Cup IV & V: Barf Chai’s.

(0 heads )

I really don’t know who the hell was in charge of adding these complete failures to the new lineup, but they have absolutely no clue whatsoever!  Let me reiterate my previous statement: NO FRIGGIN’ CLUE!  Please let me explain…

First off, I am a HUGE fan of Chai.  It is hands down, one of my favorite teas…nuff said.  I can even somewhat enjoy a traditional Chai tea latte from this commercial establishment.  What I can’t take another drop of is the sludge they tried to pass off as tea.

Chai is typically a mixture of black tea, cloves, cardamom, black pepper, cinnamon, star anise & ginger…just thinking about it makes me salivate like one of Pavlov’s Pooches!  Note that no cup of hand-made chai will be exactly the same, and different tea manufacturers make their recipe unique by adding or removing certain ingredients.  Starschmucks needs to take a good long lesson in chai prep 101

The Apple chai from what I could taste was simply Starbucks Hot Apple Cider with cracked peppercorns steeped in.  The ONLY way I could tell there was tea involved was the fact that my tonsils were trying to blow their way out of my mouth due to a massive puckerface explosion!  Then again, that could’ve also been from the wicked amount of pepper in the batch, so who knows.  Drinking this crap was a miserable experience and I would have rather steeped a gym sock with nut butter.

The berry chai wasn’t  any better, as the pepper overpowered any hint of tea flavor that might have once existed…it’s a really painful memory & I’m vigorously trying to forget it.

Closing.

Starbucks can’t provide us with the perfect cup of tea.  For crying out loud, there isn’t a Starbucks in the country that even sells loose-leaf tea!  But it’s a start.  The more us tea-guzzling consumers show a desire for premium tea, the more Starbucks and other yuppy-oriented caffeine vendors will provide.  If on the go, and don’t have an infuser handy, there’s nothing wrong with a Starbucks tea product (other than the price).  New to tea?  Try the London Fog Tea Latte on for size and let us know how you like it!

Hope I’ve been helpful in giving tea-related advice, or at least given you something to giggle at…Until next time, Steep ya later!